ENDING relationships

Girl’s OVER analyze EVERYTHING, so here is something I would like to over analyze with all of you

***DISCLAIMER: im not a very good writer I mean the ideas are in my head and they TOTALLY make sense to me, but once I put it down on paper (or in this case “internet blogging”) it doesn’t seem as interesting…HAHA

So in this BLAHg I would like to talk about ENDING relationships…now there are a million ways to end a relationship but I would like to focus on TWO and ask a “would you rather” question….

Would you rather end a relationship with heartbreak or no closure?

FIRST let’s discuss HEARTBREAK. This is sad.

Yeah that’s all I got.

I mean you cry and cry and cry and cry…..then you cry some more….then you get angry….want to punch people in the face….then (if you are SANE) realize how you are feeling then apologize to everyone you hurt for acting all crazy and move on with your life because you realize that the scum doesn’t deserve you ANYWAY. You end the chapter in your book of life and move on to the next chapter or relationship. (if you are INSANE – then of course you would probably let the end of this heartbroken relationship ruin you forEVER)

I’m reading this book “Frenemies.” I found it yesterday when I was in Barnes and Noble. It’s about this girl who catches her boyfriend making out with her friend…it’s pretty good considering it’s TOTALLY typical…I can predict everything that’s about to happen…but do I continue reading? OF COURSE…LOL anyway so this girl gets all crazy and starts losing all her friends.

Bottom line heartbreak sucks…BUT AT LEAST YOU MOVE ON with knowing that the person is scum and hopefully you find someone better

SECOND now let’s discuss “no closure”

By "no closure" I mean when the last time you saw the person things were great…you had an amazing time, laughed, did the usual goodbye rituals (kissing, hugging, whatever, etc.) then NOTHING. You go over the time last spent again and again in your head…there was no awkward moment, no argument…and all of sudden you are just suppose to accept the fact that it’s over and you HAVE TO move on? They didn’t cheat on you, they didn’t think your best friend was hot, they didn’t abuse you, they didn’t get mad at you, nothing. But they don’t call you, don’t text you, don’t communicate in any way to you. And just like that it’s over?

So you start to make excuses for them…maybe they lost my number? Maybe they are just stuck in some crisis? Maybe they just don’t have the time to say a quick hello?

Then you start to blame yourself…maybe im too ugly? Maybe im too fat? Maybe I was too controlling? Maybe I was mean and didn’t realize it? Maybe I suffocated them?

Then you go back to you’re old excuses and think maybe I can save them? No. If only you could go back and say “sorry” (but then would you really mean it?) OH if ONLY you could see them one last time and just say SOMETHING anything so it wouldn’t have to end like this. NO.

But what do you do? Can you really move on to that next relationship without having these feelings of what could have been? Where did things go wrong? Is it wrong to see someone else when things didn’t ended “officially”? And how can you communicate to someone who doesn’t communicate back? And how can you end it with someone you find nothing wrong with? Someone you thought was funny and made all your problems and stress go away the moment they spoke to you. Someone who for a split second you thought I could really fall in love with this person.

And now... just you. Alone. With your thoughts. All those memories of hanging out, going places, the movies, the tv shows. The things you both liked. The things you both hated. The things they hated but you LOVED. The things they loved and you HATED. The stupid names you gave each other that drove you crazy but made you smile every time they called you it. The thought of their embrace and kiss. The times you just sat there and did nothing and LOVED every moment of it. AND now you HAVE TO move on?

Sucks.

So tell me would you rather end a relationship with heartbreak or “no closure”?

Something is bothering me...

well im done with school!! its official!!! and now i get to be EXCITED about turning 21!!!!!

Anyway, so i was on myspace and there is something bothering me...these match.com advertisements. I wish i could copy the ads just so i could show you...but i cant because im not technology savvy...anyway...so there is this ad and it says "find intellectual guys in your area" and there is this video of this guy who has thick black rim glasses, he's tall, he's wearing an argyle sweater, he's "pretending" to read this book, he has a pen and he puts it to his mouth...then he has this apple and is throwing and catching it...i mean HOW DOES THIS MAKE A GUY INTELLECTUAL?? why does this represent "intellectual" it just totally bothers me because IF i had to judge this guy...i would not judge him as intellectual...he just looks like a BAD ACTOR...then there is another ad that says "find athletic guys in your area" and its this guy and someone behind the camera throws him a basketball and he's playing with it...now what if this guy was the "intellectual" guy...i mean really?! It's sad that everyone wants to be all "dont judge a book by its cover" and blah blah...but these ads...they are EVERYWHERE not just on myspace i mean i have seen them on other websites and i just cant think of them at the moment...and they have all these different sayings like "find doctors in your area" i mean how shallow do these ads think i am?! i mean the only ad i would ever click on would be "find really rich men who just want to give you their money in your area" now that is an ad i would click...HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA im TOTALLY kidding!!!!

But one thing that i have seen only on myspace...and please let me know if you see them too...is this ad that says "boyfriend season is right around the corner" and i have seen this ad for the past four seasons...so i dont get it...plus isnt summer all about "summer fling" how is that boyfriend season? weird...

ANYWAYS im totally excited about turning 21!!!! but im kind of sad because that means im getting older :( AH!! and im so not done with school...but i take full responsibility on that...i didnt get my stuff together and im totally lost...SO my advice to new college students is stay on top of it...dont slack...and always know what you are getting yourself into!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay that is all...thanks xanga for letting me vent :)

Kimberly's Graduation / Kim & Joel Graduation Dinner

 YAY!! I'm FINALLY posting about Kimberly's AWESOME graduation!!! I had a really great time and the drive was fun...Santa Barbara is so BEAUTIFUL i really didnt want to leave :(

before the ceremony Christina and I were taking a million pictures and we FINALLY decided that we liked this one...even though Christina is totally doing the ditzy hair flip HAHA

Proof that Brian was there...LoL

Kimberly was the ONLY ONE to graduate under a Mathematics Major...isnt that so AWESOME?!

There she is...YAY!!

stop and pose

during the ceremony she didnt sit with us :( why kimberly? WHY?!

WOO!!!!!! go kim go kim get your diploma...OMG whatever you do DONT FALL!!

After the ceremony we took a million pictures!!

then we went to CPK for lunch...YUMMY :) THANKS KIMBERLY!!

And here are pictures from the Graduation dinner the college group threw for Kimberly :) & Joel :(

Yeah i feel the same way Amy.

Can you find me?

Just the Girls :)

According to Aaron Mori I am VERY TALL for a MAN!! :(

I know, I am pretty awesome!

SMILE!! >:|

Let me take you through my 3 day Korea Experience

Before I take you there let me start with the game plane. My plane leaves at 12:30 pm on Thursday (California time) and I should arrive at Incheon, Korea at 6:30 pm on Friday (Korean Time) the flight will take 11 hours. Then I leave Korea at 4:30 pm (Korean time) and arrive in Los Angeles, CA at 11:30 am (California Time) the flight time will take 10 hours. So in total I am spending 70 hours in Korea

FIRST of all a BIG BIG BIG THANK YOU to ERIN, who once again saves my life and gave me a ride to LAX :D that was fun…I hope you made it to class on time!!

SO I get to LAX…what a NIGHTMARE…checking in alone is so crazy I had NO IDEA what I was doing…so I started wandering around because I couldn’t even find my airline check in place…ASIANA...how cheesy…anywho FINALLY found it and then I had to wait in ANOTHER line to check my baggage in for 45 minutes!!! Crazy I know…plus I was wearing my peacoat because I figured it was going to be really cold when I got off the plan in Korea…but it was definitely NOT cold while I was waiting in line to check my baggage…I was so hot!! But I didn’t want to have to carry my jacket so I just left it on. I check my bag in and head to my gate. Security was not too bad… I was thoroughly prepared and put all my liquids in a sandwich bag etc. I had to take my shoes off…which was annoying since I was wearing converse….those don’t slip on and off as easily as I would like them to. My gate was 21 and once I got through security it starts at gate 9. and OF COURSE on this day the moving walkways were broken…so I’m walking and I totally didn’t put my shoes back on correctly so I was shuffling my feet all the way…got to gate 15 and realized that I cant walk like this anymore because I probably look like the biggest FOB ever…so I stop and untied my shoes put them on properly and retied my shoes. Finally get to my gate and send a few texts out to Erin and did some sudoku. Then they start boarding. My ticket says zone “B” and they call boarding for zone “A” AND “C” *sigh* whatever I didn’t want to board N-E-WAY. So I’m sitting there reading my vogue minding my own business and this girl comes up to me and says “Excuse me Ma’am?” MA’AM?! MA’AM?! I wanted to DIE…I felt like I was a million years old on my deathbed…MA’AM?! Please anything but that! All she wanted to know was what zone I was in. stupid girl what does it matter? All that matters is what zone you are in…you read the sign that clearly says in BIG BOLD PRINT “BOARDING FOR ZONE A and C” its amazing…and the Asians are suppose to be the smart ones! Anywho…finally get on the plan…and I have THE WORST SEAT EVER…I was in an aisle seat with no seat in front of me and right next to where all the stewardess come out with all the stuff…anyway worst seat because I had that weird table were it comes out of the armrest so its really super close to me...studying on the plane was a nightmare. Then everytime I tried to sleep people kept bumping into me…and those carts!!!!!! The food was so gross…there were carrots!! Carrots!!! I was going to barf...then they played happy feet as the in-flight movie…And that made me want to barf again!!!

FINALLY I arrive in KOREA…This Airport was named the best international airport for 2007…and it was very nice…the walkways are all glass and there’s really nice wood floors…the bathrooms were very clean and the baggage carousel was very shiny. Then I met up with my mom and my 2 aunts who live in Korea…my other 2 aunts and uncle were going back home to LA so we walked them to their gate…remember this as you continue reading

so my aunt asks me to make a list of the things I want to do. All I wanted to do was see my grandmother’s grave, eat duc-bok-gee off the street, go to Busan, and go to the hello kitty store (for my sister). Remember I’m only in Korea for a couple of days…So we get on this bus which will take us to Seoul. The bus ride was about an hour and a half…we get off walk about a block and there is this street vendor selling duc-bok-gee…SO GOOD…duc-bok-gee is rice cake cooked in this really spicy sauce…so delicious…they also had like a chicken kabob thing and some sausages…

after we ate we walked another block and got to my aunts apartment…

This aunt is married to the one of the vice presidents of Samsung. WHICH by the way…Samsung is crazy out there…the name is branded on EVERYTHING…buildings, steering wheels, clothes (literally they have their own fashion line), the usual electronics, air vents, chairs…its crazy…anyway so this apartment they live in is really nice…first there’s this guard who greets you on the inside and then you go through some glass doors to the elevator…oh man the elevator!! NICEST elevator I have EVER been in…there’s TV all they play are advertisements but still really cool…and it was FAST we would get to the 24^th floor in less then 30 seconds…its crazy…so we get off and OH my aunt doesn’t have house keys…no…there this sliding thing on top of the doorknob and you just punch in your access code and the door unlocks it self…then you close it and it locks on its own…and of course it makes all those really cool robotic noises. HAHA…anyway the apartment is really nice…there’s marble in the foyer and then wood floors all throughout the apartment. Floor to ceiling windows in all the rooms.

Here is the view from the apartment

I have two cousins who live in Korea. One went back to school and the other didn’t….tsk tsk…so we went to get Red Mango…HAHA…it DEFINITELY wasn’t as good as what we have out here…Instead of fruit they have fruit puree…and NO CAPTAIN CRUNCH…I was thoroughly disappointed…but the yogurt tasted the same…after Red Mango I thought I was going to fall asleep walking. When we got back to the apartment my 2 aunts and uncle who were suppose to be on a plane home…were at the apartment! Apparently they missed there flight…what happened was after we walked them to their gate they went to go eat…there boarding time was 8:30…but they decided to wait until 8:20 to board…but it clearly states on the ticket “boarding gates will close ten minutes prior to take off” I was laughing SO HARD…PLUS my uncle’s wife (who was back home with their two kids 2 and 3) was so PISSED!! HAHAHAHAHAHA…it was great…they had no luggage so my uncle was wearing these silk pajama pants…oh did I mention they were PINK and had little bears on them?! HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHa...

After that great laugh I went to bed but my jet lag kicked in and I couldn’t sleep very good…although it could have been that I was sleeping on a blanket on the HARD wood floor…but the floor was heated…how could I complain…haha…So I wake up and take a shower the showers were so amazing….no waiting for hot water it was nice :) Got dressed and was ready to start my day! It was raining, but only little sprinkles nothing serious.

First we went to my grandmother’s grave…It was great…I finally got a lot of closure and got to say good bye…she meant a lot to me so I’m really glad I got to see it.

This is my name in korean it's next to my sister's...bonus points if you figure it out!

Then we went to the train station to take a train to Busan. I have this weird thing about me where I just need that certain amount of space you know? My personal space…we were in line to get our train tickets and this man behind me was standing so close to me!! I mean if he could have moved back just half an inch that’s all I really needed. I mean I could hear him breathe!! And he wasn’t breathing very hard. Anyway the train station was pretty cool. here's what a toilet looked like...

MOVING ON…all over Korea there are these cute pastry shops…I mean ALL OVER…it’s like how we have coffee bean or starbucks everywhere…they just have pastry shops. Anyway so there was one in the train station we bought this strawberry shortcake…

looked a lot better then it tasted…but it’s strawberry season in Korea and the strawberries are so AMAZING…they’re different from the ones in California…they’re a lot sweeter and I would say the ones in California are more tart.

Anyway I’m getting side tracked here. So the train ride was about 3 hours.

Before we arrive in Busan I need to explain who we are meeting… So my dad has this cousin (Nancy) who married the senator of Busan or Korea I’m not sure but he’s definitely senator of something…Anyway Nancy’s Dad was this top neurosurgeon who built the general hospital in Busan and there was this conference for like all the top neurosurgeon’s in the world and then someone bombed it…Her dad died and since she was an only child she inherited this hospital. Nancy also graduated from USC and can speak English pretty well. So we meet up with her and she is just the nicest cutest little woman you will ever meet! She was so excited to see us…and I had never met her before…but the last time my mom saw her was like thirty years ago…and it was just so nice…She has this driver…who was such a nice man also…was willing to take us anywhere…and he drove us to the hospital…and helped take some pictures for us.

Extra EXTRA bonus points if you tell me what this says

Then we went to drive around Busan and we were going to meet up with the senator because (naturally) he’s a busy man so we drove through this park and our cars met and we just said hi through the windows and off we went. It was funny but it was nice that I got to briefly to say hi…really brief…Then Nancy had to go to this kind of political rally I guess and at first we weren’t going to go but Nancy just didn’t want us to leave so we ended up going to it and it was weird…They told us all to line up so the “Future Vice President of Korea” could shake our hands…at first I really didn’t think this was a big deal because I was like who am I? I can’t even vote for this guy and I’m going to shake his hand? Why? For what? And I was getting really jet lagged…so at first I was sitting down in the corner but then I thought I was being really rude so I stood up next to my mom and I shook his hand. My senator uncle was walking with him and he told the vice guy that I was visiting from California…and he grabbed my face like I was 7…it was weird…But now that I look back on it I guess I feel honored to have met him…IF he wins…HAHA I'm just kidding…Anyway after that Nancy took us to eat some Sul-lahng-tahng (soup with beef and noodles) and some Korean once told me that things in Korea are way spicer than the Korean food in America…but I ate this salad that LOOKED like it would be really spicy…but it wasn’t spicy at all…and the kimchi wasn’t as spicy either…

Then we drove around Busan some more…we drove by the beach…

and we drove down this street with all these cherry blossoms.

It was really beautiful. Then we went to Nancy’s house. In Korea it’s rare to have a house…and it’s rare to have a house as nice as Nancy’s! She gave us some strawberries (SO GOOD) and then we had to go back to the train station and went back to Seoul.

The next day (Sunday) we went to church. This church was so beautiful. It was built old Goth style. But the inside was all modernized. Tall ceilings with TVs everywhere…haha…and then my mom and I went shopping. As we were walking around Seoul we stopped in this 7-11

And i just thought this was HILARIOUS!!

see...i told you...samsung is EVERYWHERE!!!

First we were there early and nothing was open so we stopped at this small little food place where they make ramen for you…haha…then we went to this outside shopping market…so many great little knick knack things. And there were a lot of Soap Opera things…like the characters on mugs and magnets and t-shirts and socks…it was hilarious!! Then we went to this Department Store called Shinsegae. It’s like a huge Nordstroms and so many employees…there were more employees then customers! And it was NINE levels…it was ALMOST like being in heaven…it would have been heaven if the prices were cheaper…there were the most adorable pair of shoes…$300 (298,000 won). But they were so cute!!

I was getting sick…I had this really bad headache and I just didn’t want to do anything…I thought I was going to pass out…while we were out they were saying that the air was really bad because it was the air from China with all the smog and dust particles and they advised everyone to put a mask on. WELL you know me…I’m a rebel without a cause…so I didn’t wear a mask. And we went straight back home and I passed out…I had a fever and I was sweating the headache was POUNDING so I took some Tylenol and Motrin and went sleep for 12 hours. So I was awake at midnight and couldn’t go to sleep. I started packing and getting ready to go home :) Finally I went back to bed around 4 am because my mom said I was making too much noise…

Monday morning the sun was shining and there was no more bad air. My mom took me to this underground mall and I bought some really CUTE shoes. And then it was time go. We went back home got all our luggage. In Seoul you check in your luggage at this air terminal place and then they send all your luggage to Incheon. It’s really cool and really fast…not like LAX at all…haha…so we overestimated time and ended up checking in our luggage at 12:00 and we already had our boarding passes so we decided to go shopping one last time. We went to this huge duty free mall call CO-EX. We went to the Sanrio store and I bought my sister a suitcase because that’s all she really wanted. And then we had some Japanese food…I know…I didn’t even eat that much Korean food while in Korea…HAHA…And then we took the bus back to the airport

HAHA my mom doesnt know i did this...HAHAHHAHAHAHA

Got on a plane and came HOME!!!!

YAY!! I know you all missed me soooooo much…but let me tell you a few random things about Korea…I know you probably want to know if there are like a million Starbucks…well there were a couple but the one that I mostly saw a lot of was Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf….

And there are a lot of Outback steakhouses all over the place…

Of course there was McDonalds…

And there were also a lot of Baskin Robbins…

And on the plan back home i got some AWESOME aerial shots...

Incheon Airport

korea

Korea

korea

korea

korea

Somewhere in the middle between korea and california...HAHA

Again...Somewhere in the middle

CALIFORNIA!!! HOME!!!!

I think this is the bay area

Bay area

Bay area

more bay area

more bay area

I think this is more LA

LA Area

Downtown Skyline

Somewhere in LA

Last LA pic...

I couldnt think of what to post....

so here is a survey i stole from a myspace bulletin :)

Hi, my name is.....
Cammie Lucas Park

Never in my life have I....
gone skydiving

The one person who can drive me nuts is...
my sister DEFINITELY

High school...
was amazing.

When I'm nervous...
i want to barf

The last time I cried was...
last saturday

If I were to get married right now my wedding would be...
AWESOME

My hair is...
short and light brown

When I was 7...
I was into Power Rangers.

Last Christmas was....
depressing

I should be...
working.

When I look down I see...
my jeans

The craziest recent event was...
snowboarding...BOO

If I were a character on "FRIENDS", I'd be...
rachel?

By this time, next year...
i'll be at work :(

I have a hard time understanding...
my motivation class

There's this guy I know who...
is AWESOME

You know I like you when...
i say you are awesome

If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be...
my sister.

Take my advice...
ALWAYS smile CAMMIE style

My birthday is...
MAY 29 and dont you forget it!!!! 21!!! here i come!!!!!